Monday Fodder - November 2, 2015

This is a photo  Cindy took on one of her morning runs out at the High Island Reservoir in Sai Kung a few weeks ago.

It’s November already!  Where is the time going?  


I heard from the cardiologist today. I have an appointment with him on November 18th.  I also learned that the normal waiting time was 1 1/2 years, however he said he will get me in on a faster track.


What that looks like, I’ll probably find out when I go for my appointment.  Thanks, again for your prayers for that. It really is a God thing as it came up as a possibility quite unexpectedly.


It was a busy week last week, as I figured.  With the guests and extra meetings, there was not a lot of extra time. In any case, the attendance was good at all the events, and I think it will help Cindy going forward as she works on getting Elijah House established in Hong Kong.


This is just a short update as I’m playing catch-up this week.  Make it a great week! Blessings, Dave


SERIOUS FODDER


Learning to Stand Still

     ..."Stand still and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today...." (Exodus 14:13)

     The Israelites had just left 400 years of slavery in Egypt. They had fled to the desert, but they had come to a dead end at the Red Sea. Word reached them that Pharaoh had changed his mind. He was sending his troops to recapture the Israelites. They cried out to their leader Moses, complaining that he had brought them that far only to die in the desert.

     Learning when to move and when to stand is the greatest challenge for a workplace believer. We are trained for action. We are not trained to sit idly and wait. We are trained to solve problems, not wait for them to resolve themselves. However, God says there are times to wait. We are to wait until He says go. If we go before He says go, we likely will make our situation worse.

     If the Israelites had attempted to cross the Red Sea before it parted, they would have drowned. If they had fled north to try to avoid the Egyptians, God would not have moved in a miraculous way. God cannot work on our behalf if we continually try to solve our problem when He has instructed us to stand still. Standing still is sometimes the greatest action we can do, although it is the most difficult thing to do in the Christian walk.

     Stand still when He says stand and see the deliverance of the Lord.

- Os Hillman Copyright 2000 by Os Hillman. www.marketplaceleaders.org

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~~~~~

PRAYING RIGHT

        Peter and John had been guilty of a horrible crime. God had used them in the temple to heal a man, and then to top it off they had the nerve to tell the gathering crowd that this had been done through the power of the risen one, Jesus. To make things worse, when they were arrested for their terrible crimes, Peter and John had the gall to tell the rulers that Jesus was the only way to heaven. The rulers sternly warned them to never talk about Jesus again, and the apostles were released.

        Don't forget that these rulers were the same ones that had Jesus crucified, and they might be willing to do the same to the apostles. So what did the apostles do after that? They gathered their friends and had a prayer meeting. And instead of praying that their lives would be safer, they prayed for more boldness. Wasn't that what got them into trouble in the first place? What's even more amazing was that God answered their prayer. And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness. (Acts 4:31)

        You realize don't you that one key to getting your prayers answered is learning to pray for the right things. What do you pray for when life gets tough? Do you ask for things to get easier? If God isn't answering your prayers, perhaps you're asking for the wrong things. Pray for strength. Pray for boldness.  By Rich Cathers

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~~~~~

     I have an embarrassing confession to make. I realized only a few days ago what Luke is trying to do in this text. For years I had read it and made the unwarranted assumption that old Simeon was a priest. Anna is described as a prophetess so I assumed Simeon a priest--good balance and symmetry. But something about the text kept nagging me. And then I realized what it was. Simeon was not a priest at all. He was a simple old man--a layman--an ordinary person. And Anna was not an official prophetess. She was merely a devout old woman who came to the temple a lot. Luke was only underlining a point he had begun to make by telling about the shepherds who were called from their fields and flocks to worship Christ: The coming of Christ was to simple folk! Luke, did you notice, doesn't even tell the story of the wise men; that's Matthew. Luke's whole concern, in the stories surrounding the birth of Jesus, is to emphasize one thing: Christianity is based on the faith of simple folk.

     Come to think of it, that's what Luke’s whole Gospel is about. It's what the book of Acts is about. Luke wrote the book of Acts. It wasn't the priest and Pharisees who received the Kingdom of God, it was the laypeople, the untutored, the untrained, the unsophisticated. It was simple fishermen like James and John and Peter. It was unimportant public officials like Matthew. It was women like Mary and Martha and Mary Magdalene.

     Christianity my friends, has never been a religion of Priest and theologians, minister's and teachers; from the very beginning it has been a religion of devout men and women with no claim whatsoever to professional expertise about their faith. This is important to remember.

--James W. Cox, The Minister's Manual 1995, New York: Harper, 1994, p. 275.

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GUFFAW FODDER


     Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on the odometer.

     One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

     "That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "I really need to sell the car."

     "Okay," said Judi's friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the odometer in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

     The following weekend, Judi made the trip to the mechanic. Two weeks later the friend asked Judi, "Did you sell your car?"

   "No," replied Judi, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

~

     Yesterday I went to the optician's, walked up to the counter and said to the guy on duty, "I think my eyes are going."

     He said, "They've gone mate - this is Burger King."

@Laugh & Lift - http://www.laughandlift.com/

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If Website's Had Warning Labels

- Google: "Warning! You may actually find more than what you're looking for."

- Blogs: "May cause drowsiness."

- Microsoft: "Warning! Bill Gates isn't *ever* going to share his money with you."

- My Space: "Age, gender and attractiveness of members may differ from what is actually posted."

- Apple Computers: "Warning! High Smug Advisory."

- Wikipedia: "Warning label does not exist. Would you like to create warning label?"

- iTunes: "Be alert for falling album sales and shifting music industry paradigms."

- You Tube: "Warning! Contents may be stupid."

- Match.com: "Contents may just be settling."

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Puns

- I tried to catch some Fog . I mist.

- PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

-  When chemists die, they barium.

- Why were the Indians here first? They had  reservations.

- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

- A soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

- Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there 's no pop quiz.

- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

- Energizer Bunny arrested: Charged with battery

- How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

- I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than dawned on me.

- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

- I'm reading book about anti-gravity. I  can't put it down.

- When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

- What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

- They told me I had type A blood, but it, but it was a Type O.

- I wondered why the baseball was getting was bigger. Then it hit me!

- A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

- Broken pencils are pointless.

@Sent by Celesta Rea

~~~~~

     A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord my good man?"

     Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans."

     "You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?"

     With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be lookin for Henry Christian. He lives a mile south of here."

     The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, "Are you lost?"

     "Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer.

     "Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked.

     This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When's it gonna be?"

     Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day."

     Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my wife. She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all three days."

~

     The members of my wife’s bridge club were exchanging stories of their days camping with their families in the 1950s.

     Each related how they remembered the primitive conditions...gathering wood, pumping well water and carrying it to the campsite, using an outhouse, and so forth.

     Finally one woman asked my wife, who was raised in rural Montana, if she had ever done any camping.

     "Oh, no, we didn’t bother," she replied. "We had all those inconveniences at home."

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